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The Disappearance of Family

Updated: Feb 24, 2022

Family: a group of people related by blood or marriage. Also to be included, close friends.

I remember when I was younger, I would go to Virginia for the summers to stay with my great-grandmother Bernice. Living with her were my cousins Maurice and Michael. And living on each side of her were my cousins Rhoda and Kim. Now being in the house with two boys taught me how to fight, how to wrestle and how to play basketball. But I also learned how to play the keyboard and how to cook eggs. I got roughed up a lot so I looked to my female cousins for some girly girl stuff because I’ve always been prissy, LOL. My cousin Kim has always had the prettiest eyes and Rhoda had the cutest hair styles. Rhoda is the reason I used almost an entire jar of Blue Magic to slick down my baby hairs. GREASY!!! Even though they were older than me and we all came from different parents, my great-grandma treated us all the same, like we were hers. We were all family. I remember having family reunions, or just gathering at someone’s house to eat, or just all hanging in the church parking lot laughing and joke. It felt good to have family around. People knew who you were back then by your family name. As a family, we had each other’s backs! Even if we were in the wrong, we stood for one another, yet knew how to correct each other with love.

Does that still exist? Is the family bond still there? How many times have we (myself included) try to make time for family, near and far alike? When was the last time we spoke to an elderly aunt or uncle? When was the last time we hung out with a cousin? When was the last time you called or told a parent “I love you”? I get it We are all busy with jobs, school, drastic schedules, and life. But why is it so easy to drop everything that you are doing for a loved ones funeral but can’t attend a family reunion that was planned a year in advanced? Is it because family has become a competition? Are we angry that one side has more materialistic things than the other side? Are we still dwelling in past hurt and resentment? I said, ARE WE STILL DWELLING IN PAST HURT AND RESENTMENT??? We have some elders in families that have passed down hurt and rumors to younger generations, who in turn are now mad and don’t even know why. Talk that mess out! Life is too short to be carrying stuff around. Tell the person how you feel, respectfully, and let it go!

Can we get back to being families again? Can we start supporting one another again? This is a cruel world we are living in now. We need a strong family bond more than ever, especially in the black community. In a world where we have to be fearful of the very departments that are supposed to protect is, we need our own to protect our own. And that starts right in your family circle. The men in the family need to be teaching and mentoring the boys. As the women need to be doing the same for the girls. We shouldn’t have to send our children off to expensive institutions for wisdom when we have elderly members in the family that could provide so much more! I’m sure if you just talk to your loved ones, you would find out there’s so much talent right in your family circle. There’s so much knowledge and wisdom, right in your family circle. There’s experience in your family circle. Bring back the peace and love in your family circle. You need it. Your children need it. Their children need it. And the generation after them will need it.

I challenge you to reach out to someone in your family that you haven’t spoken to in a while. And an even greater challenge is to reach out to someone that you may have issues with. Hash it out. Start loving again. Do it today because tomorrow definitely isn’t promised.

I love you all! ❤️

*Sly and the Family Stone said it best, “It’s A Family Affair“* Take a listen...


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